I'm sorry to say this but the game was kind of disappointing to me. The beginning was alright, although it made you pick who to hang out with before you even really got to like anyone. I liked the background story of the characters do, it sounded like you really thought about it. But then the ending came so sudden. You are just talking too a couple people and BAM suddenly you are getting raped next to a corpse. That guy didn't even seem so bad yet. Just a annoying boss. I think this could have been a good story, but is just feels like the middle part of the story disappeared. You go straight from the introduction to the ending. I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I think commentary is helpful to writers, so they can improve themselves. I hope it helped you.
The First Star
A downloadable visual novel for Windows, macOS, and Linux
Accompany Hoshiko, a 16 year old high school student as she struggles to take care of her sick mother, go to school, maintain a job and maybe even find true love, all while avoiding the shadow of her stalker.
The game contains 17,533 words and 6 total endings.
Warning: Strong language and dark endings
tokudaya, incompetech, tropicalmonsoon, mugenjohncel, osumashi of freshwater clam, soundbible, vanille velasquez, sound jay
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Thanks for your feedback, I always appreciate constructive criticism. My excuse for the bad pacing is my lack of focus. The problem you pointed out is something i'm well familiar with, and have been trying to steer in the right direction for quite some time now, but it's hard for me to do that because I just want to finish the project as fast as possible because if I take my time, then I will start getting lazy and stop writing for months...like I am doing with my current project. As I have said in previous replies, I will do my best to fix the issues and make an actual good visual novel...someday.
Have a great day
Gosh I don't know why, but Akio's route was the hardest for me! I had to search up the walkthrough haahaha. I overall enjoyed the game and Erai was probably my favorite. It was short, but bittersweet, rip Hoshi's mom. The whole time I was playing I had weird deja vu! A while back I played a game called "don't take it personally, babe". It was one of the first visual novels I ever played and I can't even remember where I downloaded it from. But the art in this game was so eerily identical to like two or three of the characters in don't take it personally babe, I was freaking out hahaha. But overall, I enjoyed the game. Keep up the good work!
I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and yeah, the art I used was from the same person that did the art for 'don't take it personally, babe' so that's why they look so identical.
As for now, I did only Akio's route, but I must tell I'm in love with this game. Sure it's short, but the feels... the FEELS!
It's so sad, but somehow its bittersweet ending is an interesting change of pace from regular otome games. Well, I love really happy endings, but it's nice to have something else sometimes.
I really like the character art too!
Thank you for making this game! And if you happen to create another one, I'd gladly play it!
The game is great tho could you make a walkthrough? that would help a lot! :D i always get the devil paws ending even when i change my choices.